The struggle of balancing sports and rational thought

Penn State's Juwan Johnson celebrates after winng score against Iowa. (Photo creds to Chiacgo Tribune.)

Sometimes, it takes awhile to learn a lesson.

This past January, I watched one of the greatest football games in recent memory. It had all the ingredients of a classic; two storied programs, an intriguing backstory, and a back-and-forth battle that took until the final play of the contest to decide. To top it all off, the platform for this epic could not have been greater, as it was the 2017 Rose Bowl. Unfortunately, because my favorite team was participating, I could not enjoy it the way I appreciated the national championship game just a week later.

Shortly after Penn State's 52-49 loss to USC, I wrote an article talking about how, sometimes, we lose our minds as sports fans.   As any hardcore fan knows, there are moments throughout a year where we throw rational thought out the window and snap when watching our favorite teams. It's hard to explain to those who don't share our passion, but it happens. I had one of those moments watching the Rose Bowl, and I didn't take long for me to realize that what I saw went beyond just winning and losing. It was a game that reminded me why I am a fan, and I couldn't be mad at that forever.

I hoped that this game would serve as a learning experience, teaching me to, as the title of my post said, "enjoy it for what it is." This Saturday, I learned that this phrase is much easier said than done.

Fast forward eight months and three weeks. The 2017 Penn State Nittany Lions are facing their first test of the season in Iowa City. Although the Nittany Lions have dominated the whole game, the Iowa Hawkeyes did not break, and eventually, took a 19-15 lead with less than two minutes left.

Now, I had been pissed off the whole game. Penn State was the better team, but could not pull away, and I was quite annoyed. When Iowa took the lead, that was my breaking point. Although I can't share the words I was saying in my house at this time, I will say that I'm glad I wasn't in public.

When Trace McSorley hit Juwan Johnson on a post pattern for a seven-yard touchdown as time expired, one would think that my mood changed entirely. That's not true. While I was ecstatic that Penn State won the game and kept its national title hopes alive, I felt a little odd about celebrating.

On the inside, I was thrilled.  I got to watch a classic football game, and unlike the Rose Bowl, my favorite team came out on top. At the same time, however, I knew that just moments earlier, I had been using some of the most vulgar language imaginable when things weren't going well. Would it have been wrong for me to turn around and be all giddy now because the Nittany Lions pulled out the win?

Initially, I did not know what to do. I was not sure if my lack of reaction was due to a state of shock, or if I had realized how irrational I had been throughout the night. I think it was a combination of both. For the next hour or so, I had a hard time coming to terms with how I acted, and I must have apologized to my mother about a half a dozen times.

Eventually, I came to my senses. I accepted what had happened, and knew that I could use it as a learning experience. Now that I had cooled down, I could reflect on the game itself, and how remarkable those last two minutes were. But still, I felt awful about my meltdown earlier in the night.

These type of moments remind me how beautiful sports writing can be. Because of this blog, I had an opportunity to take my flaws as a sports fan and turn them into a column for all to see. If not for writing, it would be a lot harder to express what I go through as a die-hard sports fan, and I'm thankful that I have a platform to do that.

I know I take "silly little games" too seriously. I know I'm not alone in that regard, and I know trying to contain my emotions will not be easy. But I ask myself and other fanatics to try to refrain from losing our minds when our favorite team is playing, especially before the game is over. There will be times when we yell at the TV, but it can't hurt for us to least try and contain our anger before we have a meltdown. To my fellow sports fans, I ask you to keep in mind that just when you start to dismiss your favorite team, they could light up your world at any given moment. That's why we are fans.