NFL Week 9 Picks

 

Before I begin my offical introduction to this weeks NFL preview, I need to get something off my chest. The Thursday Night Football games suck. They are pathetic. They are turrible, and believe it or not, there was once a time when Joseph Arthur Smeltzer tried to get his NFL Preview's in by Thursday, so we could breakdown the Thursday night game. Now, I don't even bother, because the matchups are garbage.

Now that I got that out of the way, let's talk about Week 9. The Joseph Arthur Smeltzer vs. Ryan Carlton Stewart rivalry is healthier than ever, and everybody else is looking from the rearview mirror. Let's talk about football. As usual, my Steelers will be written about in a seperate preview.



The ''Never won a Super Bowl'' Bowl
Lions (4-4) at Vikings (5-2)

Joe: Did we overreact to the Vikings 5-0 start? Yes. But they are still a talented football team, and I foresee a bounce back here. The Vikings defense is among the best in football, and because of that,  I think Matthew Stafford and Marvin Jones won't make too much noise. Without offense, the Lions can't do anything, and you will find that out Sunday.

Vikings 26, Lions 14

The battle of Dan Marino 
Jets (3-5) at Dolphins (3-4) 

For those who are confused, the title I gave this game is about the Jets passing on some kid named Dan Marino in the 1983 NFL Draft for future immortal Kenny O'Brien. This week's game won't make Jets fans feel any better about that choice.

Miami is a mediocre. New York is horrendous, and are even worse than their 3-5 record shows. Expect Miami to win by a comfortable margin at home.
Dolphins 24, Jets 10

Will the Browns win?
No. 

The pedestrian game of the week
Jags (2-5) at Chiefs (5-2) 

Photo creds to AJC.Com

As much as I want to have faith in my man Blake Bortles, I can't see this week being the start of a turnaround in Jacksonville. The Chiefs are rolling, and are even better at Arrowhead Stadium. Bortles will struggle against the Chiefs vaunted secondary, throwing 4 INT's; 2 to Marcus Peters, 1 to Eric Barry and another to Tamba Hali (just have a feeling).

Chiefs 33, Jags 13

The Battle of the New Jersey Turnpike 
Eagles (4-3) at Giants (4-3)

Photo creds to NYCRoads.com

Call me crazy, but the loss of Josh Huff won't be the reason the Eagles lose this game.

What will be the reason is the Giants passing attack. Eli Manning and Odell Beckham Jr. are both pretty good, and the Eagles secondary is not. Expect a close game, as both teams are equally inconsistent. However, I feel that the way New York matches up with Philly's secondary as well as the fact that they are at home will be the difference.

Giants 31, Eagles 21

The Panthers won't make the playoffs, but.....

They will beat LA. I like the Rams. Jeff Fisher is an honorable man, and I would love to see this team thrive in their new city. However, the honeymoon is over. After starting out 3-1, the Rams are falling fast, as they have lost three straight games to three straight mediocre football teams in Buffalo, Detriot, and the New York Giants. Hopefully, for Cam Newton, he will play well enough that he won't feel the need to complain the refs not being on his side.

Panthers 31, Rams 17

The Immortal vs. the Jackass
New Orleans (3-4) at San Fransico (1-6) 

I called the Saints upset over the might Seahawks last week, and I'll call New Orleans to receive a taste of their own medicine this week. I love me some Drew Brees, but the Saints are just not a consistent football team. As bad as San Fran has been, the losing has to come to a halt at some point. Colin Kaepernick is a jerk, but the Saints defense stinks, and as much as it pains me to say it, I see the assclown getting the best of the future Hall of Famer in this one.

San Franscio 31, New Orleans 24


The ''Who the Hell Cares?'' Game of the Week
Titans (4-4) at Chargers (3-5) 

The Chargers know how to score points. They will score more points than the Titans. Neither one of these teams is going anywhere, so I'll just leave it at that.

Chargers 28, Titans 16


The Battle of Tony Manderich
Colts (3-5) at Packers (4-3) 

Tony Mandarich, steroid freak and NFL bust, spent time with both Indy and Green Bay (photo creds to Total Packers

The Colts stink. I've finally declared that to be the truth after their stinker against KC last week. Andrew Luck is a class act, but Aaron Rodgers is a better QB with better teammates to support him. A-Rod is finding his stroke, and defenses everywhere should be concerned, especially one as pitiful as Indy's.

Packers 38, Colts 21

My boys won't be denied 
Broncos (6-2) at Raiders (6-2) 

In Carr we trust

Derek Carr, this is your time. I've had a man-crush on you for a little over a year now, and this is the perfect setting for your official initiation into the NFL's elite. It's primetime. It's against the NFL's best defense. The ball is in your court, DC.

This will be a close game, but I foresee the power of AC/DC being too great for even Denver's majestic defense to handle. This is the night where the Silver and Black prove to the world, officially, that they are back. Just win, Baby.


Raiders 27, Broncos 20

Will Buffalo talk proud?
In Seattle? On Monday Night? No. Never.

Sehawks 30, Bills 17.